A Mini Dose of French Humor: Politics Explained to Little French Kids! is a post from: French Language Blog

Before any major election in France, just like any other country, les blagues politiques (political jokes) reign supreme!

The following French joke is actually quite universal, and can be particularly appreciated everywhere in the world where 2012 happens to be a Presidential Elections Year: In les États-Unis (USA), la Russie, l’Inde (India), la Tunisie, le Yemen, la Palestine, l’Egypte, Hong-Kong, Taiwan, le Turkménistan, la Corée du Sud, le Timor oriental, le Venezuela, la République dominicaine, le Mexique, la Serbie, la Finlande, le Sénégal, le Mali, Madagascar, Ghana, la Sierra Leone, Iceland, la Turquie, la Slovénie, and the sovereign Republic of Palau!

◊ LA BLAGUE (the Joke):- Un enfant demande à son papa: “explique-moi, c’est quoi la politique?”  
(A kid asks his father: “Daddy explain to me, what is politics?”)

- Grand-père vérifie si tout ce passe bien : il est donc le parlement. 

- La bonne est la classe ouvrière. 
(The maid is the working class.)

(During his sleep, the kid heard his little brother crying. He wakes up and goes to check on him.)

En fait, le petit frère avait fait dans ses couches! 
(As it turned out, the little brother had dirtied his diapers!)

(Not wanting to wake her up, he goes to the room of the maid and there! He found his dad in the bed of the young girl.)

Il voit même le grand-père qui regarde par la fenêtre. Ayant peur, l’enfant va se recoucher et s’endort.

“Le capitalisme profite de la classe ouvrière pendant que le gouvernement dort et le parlement regarde sans rien dire. On s’en fout de ce que pense le peuple et l’avenir est dans la m%$#&…”

(“Capitalism takes advantage of the working class while the government is asleep and the parliament watches without saying a word. Nobody gives a damn about what the people think, and the future is in deep s%$#…”)

A Mini Dose of French Humor: Politics Explained to Little French Kids! is a post from: French Language Blog

Hey! Let’s all go together spend “Un Jour en France” (“A Day in France”)! is a post from: French Language Blog

Cancel all your plans and rendez-vous!

Whether you have to go à l’école (to school) tomorrow, or must be au bureau (at the office) at the first hour of the morning, put all that aside—because we’re all going on a field trip to spend UN JOUR EN FRANCE (A DAY IN FRANCE)! 

Since you guys enjoyed the previous Noir Désir song, here’s another famous one featuring the same Bordelais group (“Bordelais” means to be from the Aquitaine’s capital, Bordeaux), ”Un Jour en France.” 

Au bistro comme toujours Il y a les beaux discours Au poteau les pourris Les corrompus aussi Dents blanches et carnassiers Mais à la première occasion Chacun deviendrait le larron De la foire au pognon qui se trame ici Allez dance avec Johnny Se rappellent de la France Ont des reminiscences De l’ordre, des jeux, l’essence Quand on vivait mieux Il y avait Paul et Mickey  On pouvait discuter Mais c’est Mickey qui a gagné Allez d’accord, n’en parlons plus Un autre jour en France Des prières pour l’audience Et quelques fachisants autour de 15% Charlie, défends-moi ! C’est le temps des menaces On a pas le choix, pile ou face Et aujourd’hui je jure que rien ne se passe Toujours un peu plus FN, souffrance Qu’on est bien en France ! C’est l’heure de changer la monnaie On devra encore imprimer le rêve de l’Égalite On devra jamais supprimer celui de la fraternité Restent des pointillés.

In the bistros as always  There are the beautiful speeches Get the rotten on the whipping post The corrupt as well White teeth and carnivores But at the first opportunity Everyone would turn into the scoundrel Of the dough bedlam that’s going on here Come on, dance with Johnny [Reference to Johnny Halliday!] They remember France  Got recollections Of order, games, gas When we lived better There was Paul and Mickey (Mickey is of course ”Mickey Mouse”, and by extension, “American culture”) We could talk But it’s Mickey who won So, alright, let’s not talk about it anymore Another day in France Prayers for the audience Some fascists bordering the 15% (a reference to the 1995 Presidential elections, where the FN secured 15% of the votes.) Charlie, protect me! [Allusion to the left-wing "Charlie Hebdo"] It’s the time of threats We’ve got no choice, heads or tails And today I swear, nothing’s going on Always a bit more FN, suffering [Front National: Jean-Marie Le Pen's right-wing party] We’re so good in France! It’s time to switch currency [From le Franc to l'Euro] We still got to print the dream of Equality Fraternity should never be removed “Ellipsis” remains (Or “dot-dot-dot”, “… Égalité, Fraternité“: What else is left from the celebrated motto, if it’s not “la… LIBERTÉ”!)

Hey! Let’s all go together spend “Un Jour en France” (“A Day in France”)! is a post from: French Language Blog

She Loved France with a Passion: A Great Novelist, Mother, and Grandmother is a post from: French Language Blog

As the national attention of her pays natal (native country), l’Égypte, was overwhelmingly occupied by the stunning popular uprising qui battait son plein (at its height) just a year ago, the disappearance from this world of l’enfant du pays (the native child, or literally “the child of the country”) -who was also of Lebanese extraction and later became French, par adoption- went by almost completely inaperçue (unnoticed)…

Born into une famille libanaise (a Lebanese family) who resided then in le Caire (Cairo), the capital of “la mère du monde“, or “the Mother of the World“, which is how Egyptians famously nickname their country, future author and mother Andrée was to eventually settle in France in the aftermath of WWII, after spending half of the wartime in le Liban (Lebanon.)

Soon enough, la jeune adolescente (the young teenager) would emerge to adulthood as a prolific author, venturing in more than one literary genre: Essay, prose, poetry, drama, and even la littérature d’enfance et de jeunesse (children’s literature.)

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A conversation with Madame Chedid, mother of the famous Louis Chedid, and her even more famous grandson, the seven-times winner of les Victoires de la Musique, singer, and “rock star” Matthieu ‘-M-’ Chedid

Her rich identity as une femme arabe (an Arab woman), une chrétienne (a Christian woman), and une francophone, finds a wide and profound réflexion in her literary works, which are translated today in nine languages around the world.

When she won le Goncourt of poetry a few years ago, it was by no means a new accomplishment for this grande dame.

She did just that more than 30 years ago, when she won le Prix Goncourt de la Nouvelle.

In fact, the literary prize was known back then as ”la Bourse” Goncourt de la Nouvelle (in the “short story” category), of which she was the recipient at a time when earning le Goncourt truly meant something in the French monde littéraire (literary world.) That is, way before the Goncourt morphed, as of two years ago, into a “Clonecourt“, namely the special award for unabashed plagiarizing “Raëlian” clones! (See the “Houellebecq dossier” for more details.)

Just as Mary N. Layoun, an author who often wrote about la Grèce (Greece), rightfully pointed out in her study “The Sixth Day of Compassion“, devoted to Andrée Chedid’s novel “le sixieme jour” (“The Sixth Day”), the profound influence of Platon (Plato) is readily perceptible, and lies at the very heart of her works

Although Mrs. Layoun does not state it quite explicitly in the aforementioned study, one must think of the allégorie platonique de la caverne (Platonic allegory of the Cave), illuminating the true sense of life and reality, the source of la lumière et les ombres (the light and the shadows), when Madame Chedid pens these magnificently memorable lines (Page 85, of the Flammarion edition) through the mouth of her character, Om Hassan:

“L’ombre, c’est la maladie du soleil, et rappelle-toi, le soleil gagne toujours. Toi, tu es mon soleil. Tu es ma vie.”
(“The shadow is but the disease of the Sun, et remember, the Sun always triumphs. You, you’re my Sun. You’re my life.”)

She Loved France with a Passion: A Great Novelist, Mother, and Grandmother is a post from: French Language Blog

Electrifying Masters of The “French Touch” Electro Music: Daft Punk! is a post from: French Language Blog

To this day, only a handful of people can positively state how the first spark of the “French Touch” Electro music scene came to be ignited.

To have an idea, you’ll have to travel in time more than 20 ans en arrière (20 years backwards.)

L’Angleterre (England), 1988: Thousands of diehard Techno devotees turn “barking mad” all over the country when la Dame de Fer (the Iron Lady), Margareth Thatcher, proclaims that they were all to be forever “privés de sortie” (“grounded”), in the wake of the Ecstasy-filled mayhem of madness left by the so-called “Second Summer of Love” (the first one took place in 1967 in San Fran‘…)

Overnight, it became illegal to throw “rave” parties anywhere in the UK…

Ensued a massive exodus of soriées Techno unleashed upon France, which were, a few years later, to propel into le devant de la seine (the front stage) world-wide famous French Techno Stars, such as David Guetta and Daft Punk!

Almost à mi-chemin (halfway) between la place Charles-de-Gaulle and Place de Clichy, the Lycée Carnot (Carnot High school) saw many young and ambitious students graduate to become influential men and woman in the world: Some, as Jacques Chirac and Dominique Strauss-Kahn (aka “DSK“) became de fins politiciens (shrewd politicians—except maybe for DSK); others, like Louis Aragon were to become famous écrivains (writers); des acteurs remarquables (remarkable actors), like Jean Reno, also attended classes there (remember him in le Grand Bleu, les Visiteurs, Léon, Ronin, Da Vinci Code, etc.); and finally musicians, such as the duo who, to this today, many people “around the world” (…) are still surprised to discover that that they are actually French—Daft Punk!

When Thomas Bangalter, the son of a noted musician (his father worked with la Compagnie Créole), met like-minded Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo at the lycée Carnot, les deux sont devenus amis (the two became friends) and decided to start a band they called Darlin’, which they named after the 1967 song of The Beach Boys.

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In 2002, Thomas Bangalter composed la bande originale (the soundtrack) of the movie “Irreversible“, starring Vincent Cassel and his wife Monica Bellucci. A deliberately provocative, ultra-violent, and particularly disturbing movie (causing quite an uproar in the Cannes Festival of the same year), it features a rather horrific scene shot in a now-closed Metro station (most likely ordered to be closed due to this movie) located within a few blocks from the lycée Carnot, where the Daft Punk duo attended their high school years—Needless to say, you are definitely not advised to watch this movie

In an amusing ironie du sort (irony of fate), shortly after Darlin’ performed two gigs or so in the foggy pays des Beatles (country of the Beatles), the now defunct UK magazine “Melody Maker“ issued a very unflattering review of their songs, dismissing their music as mere “daft punk“— That is, the very same sobriquet they would later adopt as their stage name, and under which they would become mondialement connus (world famous.)

How about that for bouncing back from un échec (a failure)!

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Daft Punk – “Alive“

Daft Punk released their premier (first) single titled “The New Wave” in 1994, a track which would then turn into a final mix, “Alive“, which eventually made it into “Homework“, their debut album.

Released trois années (three years) after their first single, “Homework” also featured some major hits, such as “Da Funk” and “Around the World“, which earned le duo français a worldwide fame.

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“Da Funk” (1995), directed by Spike Jonze (later of “Being John Malkovich” fame, also director of “Sabotage” by The Beastie Boys, and Björk’s “It’s Oh So Quiet”), the Daft Punk music video features un homme-chien (a man-dog) carrying a radiocassette (boombox) in the streets of New York City!

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Daft Punk – “Around the World“

Only a year after Kylie Minogue‘s single “Spinning Around” came out, heralding a new “synthpop” era that would dominate most of the past décennie (yes, “décennie” means “decade”, because we’re in 2012!), Daft Punk released their second album titled “Discovery”

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Ok, just “One More Time”? (from the 2001 “Discovery” album)
Could it really have been plus de dix ans (more than ten years ago?)

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Also from the “Discovery” album, “Aerodynamic” appeared the following year in the critically-acclaimed French movie “l’Auberge espagnole”, the prequel to “Les Poupées russes” 

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Daft Punk’s “Robot Rock” (“Human After All”)

In 2005, Daft Punk’s album “Human After All” received mixed reviews: Considering that it was conceived in barely three weeks, many a critique accused it of being nothing less than “du travail bâclé” (“a botched job”)!

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Finally, in 2010, the Frenchy duo Daft Punk “went Hollywood” to meet TRON: Legacy
À vous de juger mes amis (You be the judge my friends)

Electrifying Masters of The “French Touch” Electro Music: Daft Punk! is a post from: French Language Blog

Here Comes “l’Homme Providentiel” of the 2012 French Presidential Elections! is a post from: French Language Blog

“L’Homme Providentiel“, the “Providential Man“, (or “La Femme Providentielle” this year), the “Savior of the Masses”, is one of those “dynamite figures”, so to speak, which have for long jalonné (punctuated) the History of France: From Louis XIV, “le Roi Soleil” (The Sun King), to his Supreme Highness, le Grand Empreur Napoléon Bonaparte—To, finally, the much less sophisticated “parodical figureheads” of later pedigree…
Much to the “déception“, of course, of the overwhelming majority of the French people!
But to each their own disappointment, to each their own “Waterloo“…

What a Corsican with a “Napoleon complex” would have probably looked like deux siècles plus tard (two centuries later)!

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SILMARILS – “L’Homme Providentiel” (“The Providential Man”)

* S I L M A R I L S - “L’H o m m e  P r o v i d e n t i e l” (“The  Providential  Man”):

Dormez, dormez tranquille quand je vous l’ordonne

Sleep, sleep tight when I order you to

Placez vos espérances en moi et que Dieu vous pardonne

Put your hopes into me and may God forgive you

Applaudissez mes actes et buvez mes paroles

Applaud my actions and drink my words

Affichez ma photo dans toutes les écoles  

Display my picture in all schools

Assez! Nous allons dire, nous allons faire

Enough! We will say, we will do

Nous allons bientôt rendre sa fertilité à la terre

We shall give to the land its fertility back

Nous allons faire de vos femmes de bonnes mères 

We shall make of your women good mothers

Votez pour moi vous aurez la lumière

Vote for me and you shall see the light

Voyez je n’ai pas un seule ennemi

Look I have not a single enemy

Car mon discours se situe bien au dela des partis 

For my speech is beyond patisanship

J’accueille à bras ouvert tous les nouveaux venus

I welcome with wide arms all the newcomers

L’heure de changement de vestes et enfin venu

The turncoat time is finally upon us

Merci aux ralliement de dernière minute 

Thank you to the rallying of last minute

Aux Stackhanovistes du demi-tour aux fils de @#%$&!

To the Stakhavonites of about-turns, to the sons of @#%$&!

Vous avez tellement tellement fait pour moi  

You did so much for me

La nation ne vous oubliera pas

The nation won’t forget you

Je rendrai fertile la terre 

I shall make the land fertile again

Je changerai en or la pierre

I will turn stones into gold

Les hommes seront de bons pères 

Men will be good fathers

Je suis l’homme providentiel

I am the providential man

Here Comes “l’Homme Providentiel” of the 2012 French Presidential Elections! is a post from: French Language Blog